Ending when? So let's live, then.

The "end of the world" has been a trending issue for years and just recently, half of the world or even the whole of it, was surprised by a news saying judgment day was going to come on May 21 this year. I wonder how people could make strong predictions that can cause so much global fuss. Some are afraid of this idea, while some are psyched to witness a phenomenon beyond any curious mind could ever imagine. Some are ready for mankind's conclusion, while some are not due to a vital reason that is simply, to live their life and complete their mission here on earth. But I'm telling you now, I'm not worried about the world ending in 2012, what I'm really worried about is that it could end at any time, and that truth remains.

A couple of days ago, I had a conversation with my mom about death, and yes, I know it sounds odd given it is rare for me to open up such an idea with her, but I was actually able to pick up a few realizations that seemed to make me question myself. Am I living a righteous life? Have I made known enough to the special people in my life how much I love them? And am I worthy of entering our Father's Kingdom? Of course I'm the only one who could answer these, except the latter part, I guess. I'm the only one who could correct my mistakes, I'm the only one who could  make choices that will define my life. In all honesty, I'm afraid of death, but most especially, I'm afraid of dying without fulfilling what I was born for. Thus, this end of the world issue got me quite badly, but at the same time, it is constantly reminding me of how precious and delicate this life is.

Live life to the fullest! That's what we often hear and say because we believe that there is no other way, but are we really doing that? I realized that  sometimes we do, sometimes we don't, sometimes we live it too much that it is no longer in accordance to what is good and what is right, but then it will always fall down to the choices we make and how we balance the things in our life. We can choose to do things that we wouldn't have to regret in the end. In my opinion, we shouldn't put much focus on the world terminating, but on our lives instead. Let us make the most of our lives here on the lands God created for us to do good, love what has been blessed to us like our family, friends, health and accomplishments,  and embrace our failures and pains, learning from them and carrying on with life. After all, God is the only one who knows.

Stray Entry # 1

Yep, we live a dynamic life where changes keep comin’. And in all those constant pretty and effed up changes we’ve learned to live with, sometimes we just yearn for something consistent, you know, that no matter what happens, something’s still sturdy enough to stay the same.

AKDM

Bella Vista

When I was in my humdrum duty last week, I got a call from my mom, she asked me if I was gonna be free on Sunday to Tuesday, that was May 15-17, and I wasn't sure because of the make-up duty. But good thing our coordinator was in a seminar so I was free then! We got an invite from one of my mom's closest friends to Batangas, my parents had been there and liked the place and showed me some pictures before and I was like, "I'm totally gonna come with you next time!" And so, given the free time, I went with mom and my sister to Peninsula de Punta Fuego :)

This super awesome house we stayed in is owned by Tito Mel Velarde, brother of Tita Wiwi, mom's kabarkada. It's a glass house facing the beach and with an infinity pool! And gawd, the moment I got in, I instantly fell in love with the house ♥

I always dreamed of having my own glass house by the beach or on the mountains, but you know, I really havta have loads of riches to make it happen. The land itself would cost a ton! I imagine my dream white, glass home to have an eccentric geometry and contain simple but fab furnitures, a few sports facilities and a garage that would house a car and an SUV. I want a glass house so badly, one that would fit a lax and at the same time, vigorous personality :)

Going back, this Bella Vista home had rich and famous buyers like Willie R. and Pacman, but the original owner decided to sell it to Tito Mel for some personal reasons.

I swear I didn't want to leave the place. In my mind, I begged for an extension. Right now, if I had a house this amazing and is located at a good vacation spot like Batangas too, I'd have my family and friends come over weekly! Well of course if our schedule would permit us to.

I'm done posting photos for now, gonna upload on Facebook! Tee hee.

Until my next entry, ta-ta!

A Letter To Jovie

Hi Mom!

It’s been a very long time since I last wrote you a letter and I’m not quite sure how to start this or what to say, even. Well I’ve got so much to say actually, I guess I just don’t know how I’d convey them to you. But if there’s one significant truth I’d like for you to keep in mind, come what may, it’s that I love you mom, more than you’ll ever know. And although I don’t say it as much, yup, I really do. I know I haven’t been really obedient, forbearing and quick-witted as I’m expected to be, but I’m doing all I can to make you satisfied mom, to make you happy and stress-free. I know I’ve disappointed you big time before and in all honesty, I immensely regret it. I think about it sometimes and I can’t help but still feel a rush of guilt inside of me. Trust is a delicate, crucial thing that I can’t just regain in a snap after fooling around. I know my mistakes mom and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for ever hurting you and daddy. I’m sorry for my shortcomings, for neglecting my responsibilities as your daughter and not being able to do things right when I was supposed to. Sincerely, with all my heart, I’m sorry mom. I realized the importance of do overs, that we’re given them as a chance to rectify our mistakes. Needless to say, I want to fix what I’ve broken with you and dad, I want to do things right this time.

You were young when life revealed itself to you

We’re spoon fed, too naïve about what we’re supposed to do

But then your guiding light illuminates the way for us

But at times we don’t understand and so we put up too much fuss

Very so often we don’t see eye to eye

We speak, we don’t listen, maybe that’s the reason why

Even so, you love us so dearly, the way no one else can

and in your arms is where we’ll always find the safest den

I love you mom and thank you. Because of you, I’ve learned to believe in myself, to have the audacity to pursue my dreams no matter how difficult it seems to attain it. Because of you, I’ve learned that life’s ride is not duck soup, that you’ve got to be brave and keep standing strong despite falling for so many times. The importance of family, love, sharing your blessings and of course, God, are highlighted in our hearts and heads because of your constant reminder of them. You’ve done a completely great job in raising us and you continue to do so, we wouldn’t be who we are now if it weren’t for your tireless lectures about what’s right and wrong. I may be undeniably less than perfect, but at the end of the day, who is? But I tell you mom, I’m doing the best I can to make you proud of me. The good results I get in school is a reflection of how much I love and appreciate you and daddy. It’s a means of reciprocating yours and daddy’s diligence, time and enduring effort to put us in schools that will provide us the best education possible, and plus, for giving and letting us experience the best things in life. But then I thought, having you as our mom is one of the best things in life. Thank you so much mom, I’m really grateful for having you, words aren’t enough to show my gratitude over everything you’ve done and you’ve given to our family. Aawww, I love you mom, so much!

Loving you always,

Trin

P.S. I’ll treat you to Spa in time! Hihi. Mother-daughter bonding :>

Back On Track??

OMG, been a while since I last updated my account. A lot has transpired, so much emotions have been kept deep... I really missed blogging and I just hope that this summer, my entries would be consistent, tee hee.

He never knew.

He didn't have to parade my town just for me to notice and appreciate him. In fact, he didn't have to do anything at all, I accepted him and everything else about him. When he was invisible, I saw him and acknowledged his existence. I was his number one fan, but he never knew that. But despite that truth, I never stopped cheering for him, and not just because I was his lover and best friend, but because I really saw the beauty of his character and talents. I loved him simply because he was genuinely himself, and his simplicity was more than enough for me to appreciate. No title was needed to be given just for me to be proud of him, I was proud of his achievements that he truly worked hard for. I was proud of the person he was when I met him, until little by little, when he went for a title and a dream, I started to become an alien in his life. Gradually, my heart was breaking because he was pulling apart from me. A stinging question ran in my head over and over, does reaching his dreams meant leaving me behind? Damn. I don't see the point why it has to be that way, all I wanted was to be part of his life and the things that come along with it, the joys, pains, success, failures and so on. I was always there and sincerely ready to be with him through anything. Was I taken for granted? Because that's exactly how I feel and it friggin' hurts. But I swear I loved him to bits, so I dealt with the ache. Sigh. I was ready to love him forever, but I guess it's just not gonna work out.

TADAAAA

Alright first of all, I'd like to thank my lil' sister for suggesting me to create an account in here, haha. I know that this is gonna be a good way for me to put my prisoned emotions in verbatim. Blogging pretty much keeps me sane, it's like a hobby and somehow a treat for the heart. It's nice to have something that you can express your thoughts and feelings to when the heart chooses to keep silent. Sometimes, the words that are not uttered are the ones that are most significant. Sooo, hooray to blogger :)